Dear Diary... Adoption Update
The title of this post is a little misleading. There isn't REALLY an update of any movement. Just a general what-is-going-on.
We have sent two care packages to P. I have taken zero photos of the contents of those packages. #secondchildproblems With O I posed outfits, stacked the toys, adjusted lighting, etc. to take photos. For every.single.package. So, this is my public statement: I will take photos of all future care packages we send. I know I'll kick myself later if I don't. I love looking back on those memories. Aaaaaand, I'm old and tired and can't always remember what we have sent previously so photos are a good reminder!
So far, O has helped us, in some form, with each care package. We are not forcing him to do anything with these, just simply asking if he wants to help pack it, pick out an item, draw a picture, etc. He is very hot and cold on what he thinks of a brother at this point. Honestly, I don't even really think he can fully process what that will mean exactly. He's 4. But we talk about it every day. I'll say things like "Remember, when your brother comes home Mommy and Daddy will love you BOTH. Our loves grows." To which I normally hear "I KNOW, mommy. You told me that all the TIME."
Ok, buddy. Just trying to keep it top of mind.
In other news, I have decided on a theme for P's room and I am SO excited. This is one of my favorite things to do while we wait. It literally matters to no one else in this house except me (including the child we are waiting for, lets be real). But that doesn't bug me. There is so little you have control of in this process I long for something to have in my control. So this part brings me so much joy. It helps keep my mind off the wait while simultaneously reminding me of who we are waiting for. When we waited for O, I would sit in his completed room and just imagine him there with me. I would try to picture him building with the Duplo block, pulling books out to read, laying in bed for a long and glorious nap (that definitely is a DREAM).
The theme will be black and white. I've seen those black and white swiss cross blankets popping up in decorating for a while now and that was really what inspired me. And then I found the photo below on Instagram and I fell in love. (@annhbehappy)
I love the idea that it won't be overwhelming with bright colors and patterns. While it can be easy to get carried away with patterns in a B&W theme, I am being careful not to do that. I will have some neutral colors in some wall hangings that I plan to use to break it up some. I'll post photos of progress as I go. At this point we have a bed in a room with a dog kennel and a closet full of wall hangings for the rest of the house. It's a catch-all right now.
I'm just glad to have a tangible project/thing I can begin working on. There is something about being in the same year that we expect our son to come home that is making me wish he was here already. If that makes sense. I know it will all happen when it's meant to and I trust that God has his hands allllllll over this. But my momma heart just aches for him to be here. I think because I already have a child this process is easier and harder in different ways than the first time. With O, I had no idea what it would be like to be a mom or have a child. There was so much anticipation on what being a mom AND having a child would be like. With P, I have a child so I have more to distract me from the wait but also have even more "mom" feelings about him not being here. (I feel like this is either going to be completely relatable or sound completely crazy. Hoping it's the former and not the latter.)
Having a completed space makes me feel like we are saying "We're ready". I want to walk by his room and smile thinking about the memories that will be made there. I want O to see P's room and, in his own way, imagine his brother being there. He may not be in it as soon as it's done but I know it will feel like a little part of him is there already.