November is National Adoption month and I'd like to share adoption tidbits throughout the month. Some might be stories of our adoption, others will be just general adoption related things. Today I'm going to talk about birth parents. I think there is a common misconception that birth parents don't "want" their children. Are there some like that? Perhaps and probably. But more often than not, these birth parents want what is best for their child and there are a plethora of reasons that children are placed for adoption. But here is what I can tell you without any doubt in my mind: No matter the reason the adoption, these people are BRAVE and they are PEOPLE. I think society forgets that. Could you imagine handing your child over to another person, an orphanage, social worker, whatever and knowing that you are no longer in control of their life? Think about that for a minute. That takes guts. And, frankly, I'm not sure I could do that even if I knew I were only living in a cardboard box and didn't know where my next meal was coming from. And they are people. They bleed, laugh, and cry just like anyone else. They aren't different from us at all. They are us.
When I think about O's birth mother, a million thoughts rush over me. I feel sadness, joy, pain, gratitude, love, stress, humbled.... and the list goes on. Every day I wonder if she could see what I'm doing right this second, what would she say? Think? How is she doing? There are times I want to find her just to hug her. To tell her we love this kid more than life itself. That he's so smart! And stubborn, and kind, thoughtful, hilarious, and mischievous. In my mind I imagine her laughing and reciting who he gets all those traits from. I wonder if he has her nose, or his grandmother's lips. I wonder if he has a tender heart like her. I wonder a LOT of things. And that's just part of the gig. I wonder now because O doesn't just yet. He will. And that will be a whole new world to navigate. But if there is one word I want my son to think about his birth mom it is the word brave. She deserves to be honored, in my opinion, and I want to do that in any way that I can.
